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Big Deal, This Will Be Just Like the Parking Lot at the Timeout Lounge on Saturday Nights

We, as a society, are fast approaching the kind of tipping point that left the Roman’s wallowing in their own excesses and unable to defend themselves.

The guys who came up with Felony Fights now say they want to extend the brand into the Twilight Zone with Cage vs. Cons.

“Felony Fights is pretty extreme and savage,” says the mysterious Zodiac. “All the fights is dudes outta prison. They get out and they get down with no gloves on, no rules. There’s a lot of different factors as to why Felony Fights can’t be on TV or a normal cable network. Because of that, now we’re doing something more TV-friendly for all the viewers … for everybody pretty much.”

It appears we’ll also get a documentary-style look at the contestant’s rap sheets, thus making the carnage – at least ostensibly – more cable tv friendly.

“UFC is bigger than boxing now,” according to Zodiac . “Everybody watches it. It’s entertaining, but the thing is, there’s not a lot of theme behind it. We’re the first ones to do cage fighting with a theme to it. You get to know the fighters more on a one on one basis. It adds a prison element to it, the crime element to it, the gangster element to it. You’re gonna have good convicts, you’re gonna have bad convicts … good guys, bad guys. You’re gonna watch all this footage before about the fighter, and when they actually get into the ring, you’re gonna be rooting for one guy or the other, depending on which dude you dig.

One of these fighters, for example, is a man named Straight Jacket. He’s an ex-con trying to make the leap into the MMA world. ‘He did a lot of years for stabbings, robberies, stuff like that. … some real crazy sh**. Now he’s rehabilitated. Now, he’s trying to make a change in his life. What better way to do it than through MMA fighting.”

I don’t know, helping out a lonely kid through Big Brothers? Getting a square job?

Hey, who knows, maybe they can land War Machine for one of their cards, he’ll be looking for work in about a year and he could fight on either side of the equation.

At any rate, here’s the teaser for this high-concept effort:

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